I met me tonight… the me I’ll be in 40 years. His name is also Bob… but he has more hair.

I sat at a picnic with wonderful people and took it all in. As it was wrapping up I found myself being asked why I was there by a smart looking man and his wife. I find it amazing that so many conversations here start with hello and within 5 minutes we are discussing the deepest aspects of who we are as people. This was one of those times.

Bob is a highly capable and successful man… but he didn’t tell me that… you could just tell. He managed over 50 people and was an executive and engineer… but he didn’t tell me that… his wife did after a while.

Instead, Bob introduced who he was, not what he did… something we don’t do in the “younger world”. And who Bob is, is someone very cool and real. He used to ski, hike, and garden… but he has slowly lost all these things as he has worn through three new hips on his right side. Now the man who was so dependable and self sufficient doesn’t feel he can count on himself. He tells me that he never saw it coming… even though he saw it happen to those around him.

This loss of abilities, whether physical or mental is felt so strongly by men… yet they appear to go through it often by themselves. I saw in Bob myself in a few years… I so enjoy my abilities… especially those that are mental… the loss of those would and will be devastating to me… it’s something I don’t even want to think about.

Bob is getting through it and being honest about where he is at… I hope that I can be as strong as he is when it is my time. I hope I learn how to be.

A new friend, Honey Lou, introduced me to Bill. Bill likes Pinochle and has a regular game. I asked when I could join… he put his hand on my shoulder and leaned over to me (I was sitting down and he was standing) and he said… “well, I am having a pace-maker put in on Tuesday, but right after that would be great.” So casual, so matter of fact. It was even endearing the way he faced me with his ear (which had a hearing aid) so that he could make sure to hear me… my image of the old cranky man yelling at the youngin’s to speak up was not in Bill… he simply leaned in… in a way he was owning his lack of hearing rather than making me own it. He is going to whip my pants in cards… I can just tell.