I had just figured out that the man I was meeting was “Jim the Undertaker” when he told me to sit down so we could talk.

Jim was holding court in the lobby… sitting in a high-backed chair and talking to those around him. He told me how people called him the unofficial Mayor at Garden Spot… and you could tell this was a man who enjoyed thinking and getting things done.

“Jim the Undertaker” was indeed retired from the funeral home he owned and in another era it would have been easy to see him as the helpful Mayor making things happen in his own small town.

He asked me where I dined… I innocently replied, “In the Cafe”. Jim smiled wryly and his eyebrow curled as he leaned forward and shook his head just a bit… “Bob… no, no, no… you eat in the Cafe… you dine in the Dining Room… you’ll have to try it some time.”

I walked away smiling not only because he was a great guy… but because I could so easily see myself saying something exactly like that.

If you have ever looked at an older adult and thought that nothing was going on behind the glasses and the grey hair… don’t you believe it. There are a lot more Jim’s here… and they keep me on my toes.

P.S.   I did try the dining room after Jim suggested it. I met the self described, “Go-Go Girls”. Five women who eat lunch together most days and call themselves “Go-Go” because they always order dessert to take back to their apartments. How can that not make you smile?

We did a survey with 25-45 year-olds to understand younger people’s perceptions about being older. The second greatest fear they said older people faced was death.

That simply isn’t true. Death holds no fear for them. They have accepted it and moved on.

That’s not to say they don’t have fears… some fear the way they will die… others have financial concerns, but all of these concerns are wrapped up in one little word… freedom.

Freedom means everything to them, and the loss of freedom is what they mourn when faced with less mobility or declining sight.

In one of our discussion groups I heard about the ultimate symbol of freedom… something that means more to seniors than many other things. Driving.

You can see their eyes light up when they talk about driving… hitting the road… going wherever they want… four wheels of freedom.

When the subject of “taking” their driver’s license away comes up, their eye’s change to those of a nine-year-old who says, “you’re not going to tell me what to do”. Beyond that you also see a little fear. Losing the ability to drive is huge to a senior. For many driving is a symbol that they are still in control, still able to do anything…

Margaret looked up and said, “I haven’t driven my car in over two months. I only put about 500 miles on my car every year… but it’s there.”

Some talked openly that they knew they drove longer than they should have… and for the first time I understood why… just one more trip… just a little more freedom.

It’s okay if you’re squirming in your seat thinking that some day you too will stop driving… that’s normal… but hopefully it will also encourage us to reach out and offer some of our freedom to these courageous people all around us who fear they are losing their’s.