This is our last week here, and many people have been asking if I’m looking forward to the immersion part of this project ending.

The answer is a definite… “YES!”

However, the reasons may not be what you’re thinking… yes, it will be wonderful to see my family and sleep in my bed, but it will also be wonderful to take everything we have learned and start to analyze it and apply it. There is only so much that you can do while you are in the throes of fielding research… and I look forward to delving deeper into our findings.

As for leaving here… leaving the people… that is very melancholy for me.

I know I’ll be back… but it will be as a visitor and not a resident. I have truly been a part of Garden Spot Village, and leaving that behind will be a loss on several levels. From hanging out in the lobby, to losing at Bingo… it may be another 20 years before I return to a community such as this and become a resident once again.

In the meantime, we’ll use everything we have learned thus far (and will learn in the next phases of research) to help companies to develop and market better products and services for older adults everywhere.

It’s the least we can do for those here who have taught us so much.

“Older women are dignified. They seldom have a
screaming match with you at the opera or in
the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course,
if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you
if they think they can get away with it.”
—Andy Rooney

I conducted “ladies only” focus groups last week. Topping Bob’s record at that time of 20 respondents, the group grew into 26 energetic, excited, informative women from all walks of life, now nestled in the “garden” willing to share their diverse but equally precious stories.

No one ever thought about getting older. Never. There was resounding laughter as they all realized they agreed on this point. These generations were respectful and obedient to their elders. The older adults were the wisest part of the family. “My grandmother lived to 104 years old and I never thought of her as old. They had great outlooks, they were all very positive.”

The feeling was that this generation was not pushed into viewing a certain age as old like we are today. Many feel advertising has exacerbated this chasm. “We never even thought about age. Now we are categorized by age group and each age group is expected to act or eat or buy in a certain way according to their where they fall! I couldn’t be categorized then and I can’t be categorized now. No one can!”

“After my husband died our family doctor used to take me out to lunch and for an occasional card game. He used to say women are very fortunate. ‘Being a physician, I can tell you, men never get together or ask each other to lunch or to play cards—you women, you call each other up, you get together a couple of times a month to shop or play cards or have lunch or go to the movies. You are so much more fortunate.’” Perhaps this is why women seem to be more content in their older years. There was much chatter about the fact that perhaps women have been raised to be caregivers and perhaps that is why they take care of each other. “Here we can have fellowship twice a day—lunch and supper in the cafeteria. Maybe women are always prepared to take care of each other and men have not been trained. It is part of being a woman, nurturing. As I look around I see people who really care about each other. Men may care but they do not know how to express it so they end up being very lonely.”

So what advice did our ladies have for the retiring boomer generation?

• Apply here!
• Don’t wait too long.
• Plan for a place to live and choose it now.
• Spend time with your children and grandchildren.
• Stay active.
• Volunteer.