I saw a segment on Good Morning America this morning about a new micro chip a company called VeriChip Corporation has manufactured. When implanted in the arm of an older adult, the VeriMed RFID links them to a database which provides basic information to someone should the carrier become disoriented, lost or too ill to tell them who they are or where they live. Facilities are using this initially for Alzheimer’s patients who have a tendency to stray as part of their infirmity and may wind up in private neighborhoods or hospital emergency rooms unknowingly.

“We have always believed that the Alzheimer’s patient population is an important, at-risk group who could benefit from the VeriMed Patient Identification System,” said Scott R. Silverman, Chairman and CEO of VeriChip Corporation. “Until recently, however, we did not fully understand the value of the VeriMed system for the caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients. By providing medical personnel quick access to identification and medical records information in an emergency situation, that caregiver is simultaneously informing medical personnel that he or she is responsible for someone unable to care for themselves.”

Although utilizing the microchip’s innate GPS tracking capabilities is not currently identified as a use for the implant, health industry leaders believe this will be an important component in the very near future, used to locate wandering Alzheimer’s and other dementia patients.

The use of this product, although completely voluntary, has created a concern in the minds of many human rights activists. Civil libertarians are worried that this technology may be misused and people’s privacy violated.

This matter of control—older adults being questioned about their decision making capabilities and maybe at some point proven not to be able to make some or all life decisions presents difficult and sometimes painful choices family members have to make.

Is it better to allow civil liberty to take precedence over physical or mental infirmity even if it allows vulnerability and perhaps endangers the lives of older adults? And what if there is no family member to contribute to these dilemmas that face aging adults?

Denise Hoak, Director of Assisted Living at Garden Spot Village states, “I don’t think families are as large as they once were. So a lot of our seniors don’t have any family. I see residents that are aging trying to do it alone. There are issues like finances, which pose real problems. It’s a great concern to them as well as to us [healthcare providers] because we are not allowed to intervene or be power of attorneys to residents. We have been able to maintain, but I see more and more residents without families not being able to make their own decisions. Social services provide support in a place like this, a retirement community; also the Area on Aging can be pulled in. But more and more seniors are out living their children.”

Attitude can affect good health and longevity almost as much as any other factor in a person’s life. Additionally, caregivers should try to help older adults maintain that control by allowing them as much independence as possible. Health professionals should recognize that each person is unique in what they value in life, and how much control they feel they have. They also need to realize that an older adult who adopts any sort of destructive behavior may have suffered a loss that has affected their feelings of control.

Every subject from being an older single to the common myths about seniors has been explored. At last count we had well over 100 hours of video with more to come.

Being immersed in the older adult culture has given us insights that we wouldn’t have hypothesized at the beginning of this project. I went back yesterday and looked at past blog entries… somewhere along the way I stopped making observations such as, “This is an every day event for them…” to making observations such as, “This is an every day event for us…”

While I would say that we maintain our researcher’s objectivity, at some point you also enter the experiment yourself.

After doing a discussion group on packaging for older adults, I found myself shopping and wondering which products would genuinely be easy to open… and how I would open them if I was a senior.

Attached is a compilation of a few packages that we reviewed for their ease of opening and use. You’ll see that all the packages open, but not with the same ease. You’ll also hear suggestions like, “… I use a screw driver on those.” These older adults have their ways of getting into the packages they want, but they also desire packaging that they don’t have to assail and think about too much. When asked if it was reasonable to expect that a company could make a package that kept things fresh, was tamper-evident and was easy to open/close… the response was classic… “Absolutely… if we can put a man on the moon, we should certainly be able to do that.”

The answer is a definite… “YES!”

However, the reasons may not be what you’re thinking… yes, it will be wonderful to see my family and sleep in my bed, but it will also be wonderful to take everything we have learned and start to analyze it and apply it. There is only so much that you can do while you are in the throes of fielding research… and I look forward to delving deeper into our findings.

As for leaving here… leaving the people… that is very melancholy for me.

I know I’ll be back… but it will be as a visitor and not a resident. I have truly been a part of Garden Spot Village, and leaving that behind will be a loss on several levels. From hanging out in the lobby, to losing at Bingo… it may be another 20 years before I return to a community such as this and become a resident once again.

In the meantime, we’ll use everything we have learned thus far (and will learn in the next phases of research) to help companies to develop and market better products and services for older adults everywhere.

It’s the least we can do for those here who have taught us so much.

I conducted “ladies only” focus groups last week. Topping Bob’s record at that time of 20 respondents, the group grew into 26 energetic, excited, informative women from all walks of life, now nestled in the “garden” willing to share their diverse but equally precious stories.

No one ever thought about getting older. Never. There was resounding laughter as they all realized they agreed on this point. These generations were respectful and obedient to their elders. The older adults were the wisest part of the family. “My grandmother lived to 104 years old and I never thought of her as old. They had great outlooks, they were all very positive.”

The feeling was that this generation was not pushed into viewing a certain age as old like we are today. Many feel advertising has exacerbated this chasm. “We never even thought about age. Now we are categorized by age group and each age group is expected to act or eat or buy in a certain way according to their where they fall! I couldn’t be categorized then and I can’t be categorized now. No one can!”

“After my husband died our family doctor used to take me out to lunch and for an occasional card game. He used to say women are very fortunate. ‘Being a physician, I can tell you, men never get together or ask each other to lunch or to play cards—you women, you call each other up, you get together a couple of times a month to shop or play cards or have lunch or go to the movies. You are so much more fortunate.’” Perhaps this is why women seem to be more content in their older years. There was much chatter about the fact that perhaps women have been raised to be caregivers and perhaps that is why they take care of each other. “Here we can have fellowship twice a day—lunch and supper in the cafeteria. Maybe women are always prepared to take care of each other and men have not been trained. It is part of being a woman, nurturing. As I look around I see people who really care about each other. Men may care but they do not know how to express it so they end up being very lonely.”

So what advice did our ladies have for the retiring boomer generation?

• Apply here!
• Don’t wait too long.
• Plan for a place to live and choose it now.
• Spend time with your children and grandchildren.
• Stay active.
• Volunteer.

Even though the theme song each week reminded us of how this family started, we grew to think of them as one family (after all, such classic moments as the “house of cards” episode really helped them bond).

This place is one big Brady reunion… it doesn’t matter after a while where we all came from, we are family now and we continue to bond together.

As with all families, you get to know each other better than you’ll ever know the neighbors… or even Sam the Butcher.

I sat in the lobby kibitzing with a few people over a surprise they were cooking up for this fall. We never really talk in hushed tones around here, but we were still careful not to be overheard. Just as the big secret was about to be revealed to me, Dorothy came around the corner, not looking at us, but close enough to hear…

She was spotted by the secret holder and he saw the concern in my eyes… he laughed and said… “Oh, don’t worry about Dorothy, she has to be at least five feet closer before she could hear us.”

The off-handed and jovial way he said it instantly brought laughter to my face… “You guys really know each other here don’t you?… even to the point of what someone’s hearing radius is.”

“You have no idea.” was the reply… “We’re family… you get to know each other… it’s what we do… it’s how we know how to help each other.”

Mike and Carol would be so proud… they’d have Alice whip up a great meal to celebrate this Johnny Bravo-esk moment… then we’d all go out and join the Davy Jones fan club… with George Glass…

… we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog…

Always ready for cards, I quickly accepted.

It struck me as a little odd that the woman who asked me wasn’t able to play, but was striving to find other players.

“What’s the big deal?” I thought to myself… I love Pinochle, but we can always play another night.

I was the last to arrive and the cards were already dealt and sitting on the table… Bill seemed so happy that I came and held my hand with tight warmth as I greeted him.

Some pre-game chit-chat was underway… no, I’m fine, I’m not thirsty… it was so hot today… tomorrow is going to be worse… I haven’t seen you in a couple of days… so, Bill, how are you doing?… … …

The cards sat on the table as Bill talked about how the pacemaker he got just two weeks before was working, but his heart was fibrillating and he had to go and get it shocked back to normal…

Evidently, Bill’s cardiac doc doesn’t say much… Bill is always probing, looking for answers… and comfort.

The cards sat on the table as my Pinochle partner suggested we pray right then. We held hands and lifted Bill up in prayer… looking for comfort no doctor could give him.

We played cards… but it wasn’t our purpose there. The woman who asked me to play was really asking me to care… to spend time with someone who needed to share their burdens.

We lost ourselves in a couple of games of Pinochle and enjoyed the camaraderie and competition that go with it… then it was time to go.

As with most things here, we helped clean up and put the chairs, snacks, light and table away… it’s just something we do.

At the door, Bill’s grip on my hand was not wanting for age or his current ailments… the woman next to me encouraging Bill that the Lord had him in His arms… not here to play cards… I was here to care… I gave Bill a bear hug and felt the tension release from him along with a sigh filled with angst.

Through breaths and a few tears Bill shared his fear… defibrillation can jar other things loose… all older people have small clots near their valves… one could break loose and go straight to… he pointed to his head.

We covered him in understanding and friendship and left him smiling as the door closed.

While I could tell you who won the card games last night… somehow it seems more important to tell you to look out for opportunities to leave your cards sitting on the table.

I politely say I will try… the same response I give my kids when I don’t really want to do something… I may have no intension of doing it, but saying no seems rude.

But, just like my kids, they are persistent… I ended up in the pool… and I had a ball.

Sure, it was exercise, but it was just so much fun. Not only because they refuse to have any rules (the same person can, and did, hit it over and over again… just so long as it eventually gets to the other side) but mostly because of their attitude.

The attitude here is contagious. I am extremely competitive, and have to reign myself in when I play games… but over the past weeks I have come to a place where I can just have fun and enjoy the people… something they do here every day.

We played men against the women and the games were close… there was even a little good-natured trash talk, and the woman gleefully cheered for me… when I hit it out of bounds.

In the pool that day was at least one ex-Navy SEAL; a gentleman affectionately referred to as “the monster” because at 6’3” he dominates the net; and a woman who has the beginning of Alzheimer’s and has seen her reflexes and abilities grow stupendously by playing this game. But what really touched me was how proud the rest of the team was of her for the hard work she has put in and the pay-off she received.

Being here is like having your own private rooting section. People here stand behind each other, support each other and encourage each other. There is a part of me that just feels this is the way it was always meant to be.

Mary Lou, the leader of the group, sat down at the very end of the table, a couple seats away from the rest. Her reason for this was because her hearing aids cannot receive two conversations at once, so the din presented by this lively group basically prevents her from hearing anything. However, this did not stop her from being one of the funniest stand-up comediennes I have ever had the privelege to hear. Her wry sense of humor, bold New England accent and keen sense of timing had everyone rolling.

Mary Lou and her friend Anne were a team. Anne would tell a joke and Mary Lou would say, “let me tell you a story about Anne” and launch into one of the hundreds of stories apparently comprising the legacy of the 92-year-old’s jet set life and many romances. She began by reciting, “How you know you are from Lancaster County”:

“You know how to cook, but not without butter.”

“The local Post Office used to be a single-family home and they close between noon and 1 for lunch.”

“You do not giggle when you see the following signs: Lititz, Intercourse, Blue Ball, Bird-in-Hand.”

“You go to the store when the milk is ‘all’.”

“The local paper covers National and International headlines on one page, but requires six pages for local sports.”

“You think the start of deer hunting is a national holiday.”

Ok, well you get the picture…

Don’t let anyone tell you older adults are not political. A heated discussion on the numerous Lancaster County and national candidates took place and every person on the shuttle participated. Colleen and I were looking at each other, as we did not recognize half of the names they were mentioning.

Many of the ladies had served on local city councils and school boards, many were Republican (GSV is a Republican retirement community, one professed, although Colleen was quick to point out this was the residents’ PERSONAL opinion and in no way represented the factual demographic of the community).

Anne said women politicians are a minority in Lancaster County, blaming it on the conservative reputation of the region. She commented on Presidential candidate and former Law & Order actor Fred Thompson, “He thinks because Ronald Reagan got to be President HE can too!”

When I exited the shuttle, I remembered what Will Rogers once said: “We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”

Indeed.

However, there is more to this than mere nomenclature… what we call things does matter… it shapes our preconceptions of what something will be like and influences how we interact with it.

Retirement communities today… especially this one (where other retirement communities regularly visit to see how they do things here), are designed for life… not the warehousing of people.

When my wife moved me in she described it as more like a resort than a “home”.

But don’t take my word for it… listen to a story that I have heard from two people now… one was the grandmother and the other was a person walking past them in the hall…

A grandmother and her grandson were walking down the hall when the grandson said to his grandmother, “This place is unfair!”

“Why?” asked the grandmother.

“Because it’s only for grandmas and grandpas but there are lots of things here that kids like to do too!”

Out of the mouths of grandsons… he is so right.

I can tell you this… I will be putting my wife’s and my name on the list at a retirement community a lot sooner than I thought. And I will also be having some conversations with my mother and mother-in-law when I move out… this is certainly not their parent’s retirement “home”.

As the rest of the community discovered the fun “Lunch Bunch” was having, some of the married couples decided it was unfair that this group should cater only to singles, and in an uprising, boldly barnstormed the club, never to be left back at the ranch again. So, the “Lunch Bunch” is now an eclectic mix of younger and older, single and married, and not mostly women.  Each month, they visit a different dining establishment by bus (no repeats allowed – even if the food was amazing!).

The highlight of my day was meeting the adorable Lucy and Warren. They are a German couple who were acquaintances in Germany and eventually moved to the United States in their twenties to pursue careers in New York City. They married here. The most obvious thing about Warren was that he worshipped Lucy. He stroked her hair, put his arm around her, laughed with her, playfully teased and told stories and proclaimed that she was “the best.” And Lucy loved it. She also went out of her way to make sure that she was introduced to me and seemed to have a genuine interest and care for the people around her. They smiled often and said that sometimes they do speak in German to one another to keep from forgetting it. When the food was served, Lucy got chicken parmesan which was unfortunately very overcooked—one of the downsides to eating with a group of 30. She struggled to cut the meat and eventually surrendered the majority of it to her husband for carving and consumption.  They spoke dreamily of their days growing up in the city and eventually raising a family in Long Island. Lucy said they used to drive up to see the grandchildren play sports—“my grandchildren are involved in everything! We used to go see them, but now they must come see us.” Fortunately, the grandchildren are on traveling soccer teams so they are able to work a few trips a year in around Garden Spot Village.

Best thing learned today:

You can still be totally in love with someone at 90. TOTALLY IN LOVE. Hopelessly, with abandon, eternally, physically, emotionally, spiritually in love.